UnschooledBots

So we are currently about 1 month in from Dylan’s official “quit date”, and Im starting to form a few observations about this whole unschooling gig, other than the idea that I may be just a totally insane, shoddy parent;)

All of the literature, blogs and general commentary suggest that once begun, this odyssey of free-form living and learning will start to take a shape and flow of its own.  I think that of all the difficulties in choosing this path for my kids (or letting them choose, in Deegan’s case), having faith that it was going to be anything other than a complete and total shit-show was the most difficult aspect.  Just let it happen they say, it will be amazing they say…..yeah, amazing, or more likely a disaster I thought.  There is a decent amount of fear of the unknown with this, but the promise was still profoundly attractive.

Its curious though, recognizing just how indoctrinated I am into the idea of a daily protocol. An endless path of points of completion, goals met in curriculum and skills demonstrated to the level.  I HATE that crap, and yet I still find myself feeling like I am letting the boys get irretrievably behind by not participating in it.  I still feel it, but its slowly evolving.

From a very basic perspective, Im recognizing small changes in our daily interactions.  For example, there is a LOT more love and affection going on in the house these days.  Hugs are continuous, saying “I love you” and smiles are served up hourly and now that the whole dynamic of monitoring school items has been reduced…..everyone is generally getting along much, much better.  There is still a fair amount of “Im bored” ‘s going on, but when I ask Dylan to go outside or find something to do to occupy himself, he is getting better each day at accomplishing this.  I didn’t realize before how profoundly inept he was at doing things for himself or taking initiative before this.  He relies so heavily on being told what to do, directed and stimulated by everything around him…..that simple things like getting dressed, personal hygiene and organizing even his own imaginative play, were really really suffering, if not happening at all.  I cant believe I wasn’t able to perceive that before.

And so it goes that without pouring through online learning options, researching at-home study plans and forcing him to adopt online learning games in favor of video games (miserable fail), I have come up with a perfectly tailored curriculum just from observation.  The kid needs to learn how to take care of himself with basic needs. He needs to learn some independence and stretch out his imagination.  Stimulate his interests by exploring on his own and creative play.  The boy is 8 years old and I was missing ALL of this! The relief of knowing that I have something to work with now, outside of just orchestrating a colossal, ruinous free-for-all…..feels so amazing.  For the very first time as a parent, I don’t feel totally inept at recognizing how to support my kids exactly where they are at.  I feel like the rat race of public school has been dragging me right along too, and its my great shame to admit that I was just hiding from it and pretending that I gave a damn…..when in reality I was just hoping that someday it would end and I could finally REALLY connect with my kid’s experience of the world.  How sad and pathetic is that?

Regardless of my guilt over it, I am now feeling more connected and supportive of my kids than I ever have.  I feel like I can help now, like I can make a difference.

Over the last two weeks or so, we have had an ongoing conversation with the Bots about whether or not they like the idea of homeschool or unschool or some sort of combination of the aforementioned.  We’ve gotten a whole range of answers, sometimes they like… sometimes they don’t, sometimes its convenient to decide against regular school when its 6AM and 40 degrees outside.  Sometimes they want to go when there is a particular fun event happening in class, but the most difficult response we’ve gotten is from the Tall Bot (Deegan), which is “Will I still be able to go to Junior High?”

When he asked, I sort of had a twinge of guilt and sadness…. after all I didn’t want to let him down, and I responded very matter-of-factly “no”.

I really wanted to say to him something more along the lines of “Well, not in the traditional sense, no you won’t go to an actual Junior High School, but you will be able to learn things and…. well, learn things…. and well, I got nothin.”

I am realizing that for Deegan, the social aspect of traditional school is at that critical point were it becomes SUPERIMPORTANT to have friends and be liked and start wondering about girls and crap.  The idea of not going on to Junior High with his friends really bums him out, and I can totally respect where he is at.  My struggle is, how do I honor his wishes about wanting to maintain his social connections, and still guide him in making a REAL choice about his learning environment.  Friends are great, but only a part of the picture. I’m really ok with letting him stay at school. But if his academics continue to suffer and he isn’t getting the guidance he needs to be successful in that environment….I may have to re-evaluate my choice to let him take the helm.

The little one on the other hand, is all systems go.  He’s even picking up on my cues about how everything is a learning tool. He’s been talking about how Minecraft is math and that he can build a school WITH Minecraft instead of going to a reaI school. I think his little light shines just a shade too bright for most, and I think he is misunderstood quite a bit.  He tries so hard to be outgoing and funny and entertaining, but for kids who are shy or more reserved, it often times gets misinterpreted as aggression.  In his secret heart of hearts I know it hurts his feelings, but he really tries to rise above and learn and keep trying.

Anyhow, this is where we find ourselves at this moment, one foot in and one foot out.  I am thinking I may just let the year ride out before we get started, and let it really soak in for them.  They will be gone for most of the month of December, so perhaps that’s best!

To be continued!

 

What would we all have given to have our parents ask us this question when we were kids? To ask it, and MEAN it??

Well, that’s pretty much what we did this week.

See there is this kooky, crazy idea going on about “unschooling” or what I’d describe more accurately as an intuitive, self-driven, passion-centered learning environment (doesn’t crap like this show up on resumes in the “objective” section?).  Basically, the idea is to let your children be the compass for what inspires them to learn and retain information about the world around them. This way as they grow into adults, they are already on a “real-world” path to achieving their goals, rather than fitting into a standardized mold of what constitutes a valuable education.

This idea really rings true for me as I reflect on my experience with school and learning.  I was always really good at retaining information, it was just the way that information was delivered to me that made me want to shoot myself in the face.  I didn’t meld with a classroom environment. I couldn’t take notes, I couldn’t study, I couldn’t translate written directions into coherent representations of what I was learning. Science fairs stressed me out so bad I wanted to run away from home.

On the other hand, animated discussion and flows of thought, interactive participation and tactile experience was amazing for me, saying or showing or moving was DO-ing and it stuck like glue.  Those opportunities were so rare and far between though.  I spent a lot of time being disruptive in class trying to ignite these types of scenarios, which of course never worked, but I remember many of them more vividly than I ever would remember how to say “Can you direct me to the cheese?” in French.

Ive been playing around with the idea of homeschooling for a long time.  I liked the individualized attention my boys would receive, and the freedom to allow more self-paced learning…..but my fears regarding my own performance in this educational utopia have always brought me up short of taking the plunge.  How would I succeed in maintaining an equivalent curriculum and pace for their age groups? What if I couldn’t spend 6 hours a day drilling them in facts and figures? Who will they play with and will they become wilderness wolf-children from lack of social interaction?? HOW THE HELL WILL I TEACH THEM MATH??

Ugggghh…..

So as it turns out….there is a not-so-new take on this process of saving your children from the clutches of the Public School-Man.  Its called unschooling, which can be as radical OR as closely representative of regular teaching and learning as you want it to be.  The kids immerse themselves in their interests, and in turn the application of basic educational concepts arrive naturally into the environment.  Cooking teaches measurements and timing. Video games introduce research, statistics and story telling. Gardening teaches chemistry, biology and organization.

That’s RIGHT! Cooking is MATH, yo!

The difference is, that we as parents are not necessarily teachers…so much as guides, or Gatekeepers to the World (I love that title!).  We are available to support them in their pursuits, expose them to new paths and ideas and act as a networking vehicle to the world where new things can be discovered.  You like that crazy hippie shit?? I LOVE IT!!!

Timing isn’t as critical, you can spend a whole year learning division and the next year learning archery and so on and forth…..so long as its centered and integrated with what your kids are truly passionate about.  Its a commitment, but its not one that’s asking me to be at home, the very thing that I cant stand in the public school…..or any school.  And any subject that presents as too much of a challenge for me to support them in, can be supplemented by a WHOLE WORLD of resources.   That’s right folks, MATH TUTORS.

I reached out via Yahoo groups to my fellow community unschooling nut-jobs, and to my great surprise and relief there are HUNDREDS of families in my area who are either ready to jump, or who are cruising in style along this path with their kids.  As of today, Deegan and Dylan are still enrolled in school, but I decided to create this blog as an outlet for myself as we get closer to this new undertaking. I want to share our detailed experience from the start so that maybe someday, someone like me will find it and be comforted by the idea that there are indeed LOTS of weirdo’s out here ruining their children’s future!!;)